He he anyway we're a little stressed about moving. We have two days to paint, move, and clean the place we're in now spotlessly. It's going to be lots and lots of work. But we have wonderful wonderful friends and family who are more than generously offering their service.
I am in a wedding this summer. I have to get my fat butt in shape! I have so so much to do in the next 6 weeks. I've got a move, a doctors appointment for my son, first therapist appointment, wedding planning, three photography jobs (one that i'll get paid a small fee for) and plenty of stress to make the world go round!! Not to mention my sister is not happy with me. I believe she feels that I've abandoned her in some way. I have made efforts in my own way, but of course we all accept and give love in different ways. I'm not a very verbal or physical person. I try to do it in little texts and messages here and there when I'm not trying to keep my son alive. I've learned that it's important to love people in the way they interpret love, but it's also important they understand the way you've been handing out love.
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| I took this photo while waiting to start one of my shoots recently. It was taken looking up from the bottom of the Palm. I thought it was a really cool angle, and beautiful color. I also though it was appropriate for this post due to my new background ♥ |
My sister and I are very different. We're at incredibly different places in our lives as well. She is single, young, the world at her fingertips. Responsible for herself, and trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life. I've hit a point in my life where I no longer live for myself. I have a husband and a son that I live to take care of. It's a sacrifice every day. I don't regret the choices I've made for my life. I love what I'm doing. But it's hard to understand if you're not living the same life. My sister doesn't understand that it's not that I don't want to spend time with her, it's that I can't in the way she wants me to. She want's "face time". I want face time too! But my days although not filled with seemingly important things, is nonetheless filled. It's a feat to just brush my teeth or wash my face and hair. Let alone leave the house. Most days I don't even leave the house. Again, I don't regret these choices. But not very many people can understand or respect them. The choices I make can easily be interpreted as reclusive, selfish, and lazy. It's difficult to weather the criticism I get these days for the choices I make. But I know that I am doing an okay job. My son is alive, my marriage is in tact and doing well. I can't be doing that bad a job.
Anyway I just have to start praying that God will really help us this next couple of weeks. He has certainly provided us with very very wonderful friends who are all so willing to help. I guess the test will really be how we do. Cheers to the future.
p.s I know I change the design on my profile all the time. So I guess I should just start leaving little crumbs of why I do it. I was recently inspired by Crate and Barrels beautiful organic wood works. They built tables and decorated walls with reclaimed wood from old telephone poles, drift wood, and several other interesting places. They sand it down and give it a lacquer so that it doesn't give you splinters. But it's the original wood color. No stain. I was inspired by the beauty in the organic look of it all. It made me really appreciate nature in it's natural state. The wood had an absolutely ancient, sacred look. You just felt absolute respect for the amount of work it's done for us! You almost felt that you needed to thank each and every splinter of wood. Although the color could be considered drab in comparison to more common wood stains, it still called for a primitive veneration. I was in absolute awe. So, in short, this blogs new look is me paying my respects to the beauty of the natural wood and all that it's done for me. Cheers mate!
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