Fragile Life

Sometimes I surprise myself with really profound thoughts.  Most times I annoy myself with really mundane and sorry excuses for life.  But nonetheless, I do realize the fragility of humankind.  The way we perceive others and ourselves can really shape our lives.  The power of positive and negative thoughts is really terrifying.

Man is harder than rock and more fragile than an egg. 
~Yugoslav Proverb

On another note, my husband has some family drama at the moment.  When something bad happens to someone you know, or even just on the news around your neighborhood, it really profoundly effects your feelings on the amazing life you have.  The antithesis to this of course is when you meet someone who is doing "better" than you in some way.  It makes you regret your choices, over think your choices, and often resent the results.  As though you could go back and change them!  It's hysterical!  We as a human kind are really quite frustratingly silly.

My mother always said that watching the news was a bit silly.  Since the only thing we glean from it is worry, fear, and sadness.  Of course she wasn't speaking without exception!  But still, tonight I had the misfortune of watching the television when the 11:00 news came on.  Of course they are reporting on a 4 year old abducted, and have little to no hope of a positive outcome.  I can't help but feel furiously angry that anyone would ever hurt an innocent child!  No matter how ornery or difficult!  A child is a child innocent and pure.  It disgusts me.  Anyways I of course walked away after turning off the television feeling angry, and scared.  My worst fear is the loss of a child.  Or the loss of my family.

My husband has been through a lot in his young life.  At 26 years old he has lost a best friend to suicide, an  uncle to suicide, and experienced much sadness at the misfortune of his family.  Today he almost lost another relative to suicide.  Not to mention the stress that work causes for him.  It makes me sad really.  The truth is that human life is so fragile. The person we almost lost is in a lot of physical and mental pain.  And has lost a lot of people near and dear to him.  Even though my husband is a really very strong man with a heart of pure gold, he was brought to tears today by this close call.  After a long discussion we ended our evening.  But not without that sad truth that life is so incredibly fragile.

Experiences in our lifetime sometimes make us feel unmistakably vulnerable.  Other times it makes us callous to the tragedies to come.  But today, I just feel vulnerable.  There is so much violence and hate in our world.  How could we possibly encounter enough hope to get us through each day?  And than the little voice in my head, be it God or my psychotic mind, said "God".  God is the only logical and reasonable way to deal with these vulnerabilities.  Because regardless of your beliefs, even if I'm wrong about Him, what's to lose?  Even if He's not there, it'll only make me a better person to believe in Him.  It will only give me hope that there is a reason to keep on keeping on.  He is the only logical explanation to continue through this scary road.  And what have I got to lose?  Nothing.