Wheels Wheels Rolling By.

There's one sad truth in life I've found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Well today was just an ordinary day with a few highs and lows.  I suppose the high, was I got my hair done.. That is always a wonderful experience.  Always makes me feel brand new. I walk out of there feeling like a shiny penny straight from the mint.  But of course the low is that I have to give back the 50mm lens I had on loan.

I think it's really interesting, comical even, that the littlest things we do can have such a huge impact on our day.  After I get my hair done, I always feel like driving around, doing extra errands.  Getting outside, even if it means grocery shopping, or getting gas.  I begin to crave human contact.  On the other hand, every other day, I'm avoiding human contact.  As though it's a contagious disease!  What is it in us that begins to isolate us from everyday life when we don't feel on top of our game?  Well I know for me it is certainly a roller coaster ride.  Sometimes I feel like maybe I could be considered a recluse!  Wouldn't that be nice?  Just every once in a while?  To feel no obligations, no need to make other people happy.  It wouldn't be fun for very long.  But it would be a nice break from the everyday need to keep people satisfied in their relationship with you.  On the other hand, I love a good conversation.  Coming to profound and life changing conclusions on accident with an important person in your life.  It's always so inspiring.

The eyes are said to be the windows to the soul.

I also got my dishes done this evening!  Oh what a feat that is!  Every single time I look at my sink whether it's 4 dishes or 30, I completely panic!  "Oh poor me!  What am I to do?", "who can I sucker into doing these tonight??", "how does it ever get this bad?", "why do we even have to have dishes?", "how come we don't have a dishwasher?"..  Ha ha the inner monologues and sword fights!  What lengths I would go to avoid those dishes!  But the truth is that when I look at my kitchen, even if my home is a disastrous mess, when the sink is empty my home feels clean. Once those dishes are done, if you saw the look of triumph on my face, you would probably guess that I just won the lottery!  But the truth is, I just did my dishes.  And that is worth millions to me.  I end up with five or six little cheerleaders dancing and tossing in my mind.

One of my desperate attempts to catch him during my last hoorah with the 50mm lens.

I also took my last desperate shots with the lens I had on loan.  Canon L 50mm F1.2.  Now, if you have no idea what that means, here is another way to describe this lens.  You could buy a car with this lens.  It's an $1800.00 lens (that's with a great discount).  And unfortunately, it's one of those things that you get what you pay for..  Tac sharp photos, with perfect ethereal like bokeh (bokeh is the quality of blur in your background, which can make and break a photo).   I felt absolute panic at the idea of giving it back!  To the point that I thought "what will they do if I tell them it got stolen??".  Well, the truth?  I couldn't pay them what it would cost of it was stolen!  But I'd like to think I could somehow get away with it.

When I was sitting in the very fun twirling chair of the hair salon, I was reading my book.  But I suppose I should point out that I was so distracted by the whispering and laughing next to me that I could hardly focus on the text in front of me.  There was another client and stylist next to me giving one another "the latest" on mutual friends.  Now, before I go on, I would like to point out that I have a habit of being a gossip.  I am not claiming any sort of innocence on this count, but I was captivated by their back and forth banter.  I too find myself discussing the latest trials and tribulations of others with my friends.  And today when I was sitting in that chair it occurred to me why gossip has it's negative reputation.  The truth is, we are not discussing the beauty of the victims of gossip, we are gaining entertainment and conversation from their struggles.  It was humbling to be listening to them and thinking, wow they could so easily be talking about me.  In fact, as I drove away my thought was, "I wonder if they'll criticize me now that I'm gone".  I don't want to have to think about that!  Or fret and worry over it!  I also decided, I especially did not want to be the town gossip.  I don't need to know everything that is going on.  It's the perpetual third wheel in me that feels the need to know everyones business to alleviate the feeling that I'm not cool.  It's ridiculous really, when you think about it, but thats what it is!  No one wants to be the third wheel!  And of course everyone wants to be wanted.  It's the human need that none of us can seem to be free of.  As much as I have tried otherwise, no matter what group I am in, I am always a third wheel..  Never seeming able to get words in edgewise.  Not without being laughed off often.  So I guess in someways, I have got to rid myself of that mentality.

Well goodnight and good riddance!